Sunday, February 28, 2010

Slice of Life: Ipis

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Kanina, nakakita ako ng isang malaking Ipis.

and you know what i did?

i looked at this strange little creature... gathered enough confidence to approach it... i made sure i was wearing my brand spanking new islander slippers... clenched my fists together... set my feet apart... took a deep breathe... getting ready for the KILL... then BAM!!!

after lifting my foot off the cockroach, i looked at this poor insect again then once again... WHAPPAKKKKKKK!!!

that's how to do it!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Toll Gate

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Araw-araw, dumadaan ako sa SLEX. Whether i go to school or work or to somewhere else, basta sa isang week, i'd pass the tollgate cguro mga 10 times... and for the 10 times na dumaan ako sa toll gate, i noticed something.

hindi ako one of the people who are blessed with the very mysterious and quite amazing (quite lang kasi hindi sya masyadong amzing) E-Pass. E-PASS. E. DASH. PASS. sounds good to me ha! maybe i should get one of those nga... anyway. i don't have one so that means, kelangan ko pa pumila sa mahabang pila palagi at mag bayad ng mga barya doon sa tao na nakastation sa toll gate na un. Usually sa bawat exit, merong mga 4 na gates, that's the E-Pass Only Gate, The Exact-toll Gate, and 2 Cash/Coupon Gates... come to think of it, ano ung COUPON??? i don't think i;ve ever seen or heard anyone use that. hindi naman un ung card na binibigay nila dba?? baka nga un, pero CASH/CARD dapat un, pero hindi e... sabi COUPON?! san ako makakakuha nun??

anyway, that's not the point of this blog entry. what i don't understand is lang... bakit tuwing magbabayad ako ng toll na hindi sakto, pagbinigay ko ung pera ko sa "cashier" ay tinataas na nya agad ung gate ng toll bago pa nya bigay sakin ung sukli?!?! ano un??? hindi ba dapat itaas nya pagnabilang nya na ng mabuti ung sukli ko at naibigay na nya sakin??? sino ba naman ang nsa tamang isipan para iwanan nalang ang mga sukli sa toll?? kahit na barya pa yan, barya parin yan! makakatulong parin yan sa sunod na toll mo?! ayun alng talaga hindi ko maintindihan e... parang kating kati ka na ata paalisin ako at umaasa ka pa na hindi ko kukunin ung sukli, and it's not like ilalagay mo naman yan sa cashier, i'm sure ibubulsa mo lang yan! swerte mo nalang kung makalimutan nung tao!? tsk tsk... mga pilipino talaga... kung ano ano iniisip...

kaya next time, wag na wag nyong kalimutan na kunin ang resibo at ang sukli ng toll nyo ok?? hindi porket tumaas na ung harang sa tollgate ay ibig sabihin na pwede ka na dumeretso sa pinatutunguhan mo! OPERATION: KUNIN ANG SUKLI SA TOLL!! LET'S GOOOOO!!! BAW!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Kadramahan sa mundo

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Bakit ba ang daming drama ng mga tao? Pag may hindi nagkakasundo, bakit kailangan magkasakitan at magkamukmukan at magkachismisan? Bakit hindi nalang tayo lahat mag-inuman at tawanan nalang lahat?

Hindi ba mas masaya yun? Bakit nga ba hindi mo naisip yun?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

First Post

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Hindi ako mahilig sa mahahaba. Ikaw?


Missions I Would Love To Take Upon Myself

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Alam ko nasabi ko na yung hangarin kong maging spy, pero nasabi ko na bang gusto ko maging piloto? Gusto ko kasi bombahin ng napalm lahat ng oil reserves ng mga arabong bansa, primarily dahil gusto kong mawalan ng financial and political leverage ang mga balbasaradong ito sa mga first-world continents tulad ng U.S. at Europe, at secondarily dahil gusto kong mabawasan ng pinagkukuhaan ng pera ang mga terorista (kung mabawasan rin ang bilang ng terorista sa aking pinaplanong bombing run, e di mas masaya). In effect, baka tuluyang mapipilitan ang mga first-world countries magpool ng natitirang resources para mag-discover, mag-invent or mag-manufacture for mass consumption ng sustainable energy source. Pumepetiks pa sila kasi hindi pa talaga ubos ang langis eh. Gusto ko bumalik sa era kung saan powered ng steam ang mga bagay-bagay. Hindi naman tayo siguro mauubusan ng uling noh? Ang dami kasing pinagmamalaking mga technology, pero hindi naman nagagamit ng karamihan at hindi rin nakakatulong. Bad trip lang.

Root Of All My Ramblings: Libya versus Switzerland. Sa tingin mo, kanino ako kampi? Shempre dun sa may mga tsokolate at mamahaling relo! Kung hindi lang dahil sa pangangailangan ng aking mga kotse, gagawa na talaga ako ng Facebook Libya Haters Fan Page. Wala akong pakealam kahit na ako lang member.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100220/wl_mideast_afp/switzerlandlibyadiplomacyeu;_ylt=AtOGM49b2nzKWgTmJrk1Lh8LewgF;_ylu=X3oDMTMzbDdpY285BGFzc2V0A2FmcC8yMDEwMDIyMC9zd2l0emVybGFuZGxpYnlhZGlwbG9tYWN5ZXUEcG9zAzMzBHNlYwN5bl9wYWdpbmF0ZV9zdW1tYXJ5X2xpc3QEc2xrA3Bhc3Nwb3J0MzlyZQ--

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/feb/15/libya-gaddafi-schengen-travel-ban

Ano kaya special satin nung baby tayo?

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Ano nga ba ang kakaiba nating kakayahan nung baby tayo? Kung natatandaan lang sana natin lahat at nakaka-decipher tayo ng kung ano ano nung baby tayo, yung parang Rugrats kung baga. Kasi kung mapapansin mo sa internet, ang daming malulupet na baby e, may iba hayup magskateboard, yung iba high, yung iba magaling mag street dance, at yung iba naman masisira mo yung monitor ng kompyuter mo sa ka-kyutan.

E tayo kaya? Ano ang special saten nung bata tayo, siyempre pwera na yung cute ako, este tayo.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Nakakainis na Commercial

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WHAT THE HELL IS RESTAURANT-LIKE INGREDIENTS!? may carinderia-like ingredients ba? or turu-turo-like ingredients? or fishball-kwek-kwek-like ingredients?

LABO.... NAINIS AKO!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Dear Lito,

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Pauwi ako galing sa isang mahabang paglalakbay sa Divi at Tutu isama mo na ang 168, pagod at masakit ang ulo dahil sa matinding init ng araw. Bumaba ang kasama ko sa 5th ave, ako naman ay bababa ng monumento.

Ang Trapik.... Sobrang Trapik....

Bumaba ako ng maaga, bago pa man sa pinaplanong bababaan, dahil sa hindi na gumagalaw ang jeep. Gulat ko nalang ay may convoy na nagwawang wang, nakusulat sa mga ito ang isang dating action star na tatakbo muli bilang senador. (POTANESKA LITO LAPID!) Hindi ko na babanggitin ang pangalan ng action star turned politician, dahil baka mapahiya siya, kagalang galang pa naman siya. ( SA TAGAL MO SA SENADO! MAY GINAWA KA BA!?) Nangangapanya, kumakaway sa mga tao, kaway dun kaway dyan, mga tao nanuod, trumapik, pati ang mga trapik enporser sa mga karatig interseksyon dumayo para lang makita ang kanilang idol sa bakbakan, at idol rin sa pagiging mambabatas.

"Ngayon lang kita nakita dumayo dito sa aming lugar ah", yan ang sasabihin ko kay Lito Lapid pag nakaharap ko siya, bakit nung nakaupo siya hindi naman siya dumadalaw dito sa Caloocan ah. Bakit hindi niya hamunin ng bakbakan yung Mayor Bigote namin na dahil malapit na ang eleksyon nagpapafun run, at dahil malapit na rin ang eleksyon nagsilabasan ang mga mangagawa na gagawa ng mga kalasada na 3 taon ng baku bako at butas butas.

Isa sa mga kahinaan ng mga Pilipino ang pagiging utu-uto, ang dating action star ay bobo at walang alam sa batas, balita ko ay gabundok na pangungurakot ang ginawa nya sa Pampanga nung gobernador pa siya dun, ganun din yung TARANTADONG anak niyang si Mark Lapid, na isang actor/politician nun. (Sumikat sa linyang saging lang ang may puso). Sana wag na natin iluklok ang mga ganitong tao, wala tayo mapapala eh. Lito Lapid, wala ka pa sa pwesto, gumagawa ka na ng gulo! ANG TRAPIK!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

LAUNCH!

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alam mo ang hindi pa cguro natin naiisip... cguro it's about time that we launch this blog!!! IT'S TIME!!! LTM and MTM and MARVIN and Jeff!! POST NA! :) - BTM

Guys post na kayo! excited na rin ako. Napupuno na toh! ang rami ng waiting-to-be-posted posts ni dom.. mahiya naman tayo kay mr estioko....hahaha - slow

Life, in-between the stuff we do

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As I went on a break and pondered on what my next post will be about, it hit me so fast I didn't imagine it was possible.

BAKIT NGA BA HUGIS -ITLOG ANG MGA INIDORO?

Come on, you gotta admit! It truly is a mystery! The shape is somewhat resembling an oval bowl placed on a pedestal, with a "ghost-busting" tank behind. Kung papansinin natin yung design, ill-fitting for a person talaga at doon sa purpose kung bakit merong toilet bowls. Hindi man lang contoured to the shape of an average person's buttocks-to-thigh-part yung rim. I really didn't like the fact that I have to mention human limbs can fit in there. And the pedestal? Are we being worshipped every single time we take a shit? Hindi rin naman kailangan ng ganun kalaking tanke para magflush ng jebs eh. Okay, I just finished double-checking and our toilet tank's capacity reads: "6.0 lpf / 1.6 gpf" (American Standard Brand) which obviously translates to liters per flush and gallons per flush. Math-friendly bowl nga pero once you realize, parang ang dami pala nating nasasayang na water everytime wiwiwi or eebak tayo. Sorry, this article isn't about conserving water. Na-concern lang ako bigla, kasi one day something like this might happen:

Not that I have the top-of-the-line, cutting-edge breakthrough design that will forever change the looks of where we take our shit (I have a few ideas), it's just that some guy actually made money out of it (the idea of toilets and flushing) and I think anything you can make money out of, is always worthy of your attention. Fun find: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/factoid1/p/thomas_crapper.htm

Since we're already discussing toilets, you might wanna check this out too:











That's all folks! Well, what do you think about how our toilets should be shaped like?

Unleash the Bookworm!

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Hello kids!!

I have just finished reading Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol on the morning of Valentine's day 2010, and guess what I found out? Not much, just that The (not-anymore) Secret's Law of Attraction concept is already a scientifically proven fact. And further research regarding the concepts in the book told me that the human soul weighs at around 21 grams (Google "soul weight" and the first hit is this: http://www.snopes.com/religion/soulweight.asp followed by Wikipedia article of the scientist).

Noetic Science also claims that thoughts are a powerful thing, being capable of manifesting physical changes in reality, pretty much telling us that energy from mountain monks, ninjas, spiritual leaders, clowns, faith healers, traumatizers, exorcists, Wicca witches, clowns, cultists, voodoo and black magic users are very much potent if the individual is already very skilled in controlling his or her thoughts and channeling the thoughts of others. That makes faith a very powerful thing, because you can't adjust overnight the massive mindset of a crowd or a nation and tell them what to believe and what not to. Weirdly enough, the homily of the priest on v-day is a science lecture: how the hypothalamus works in the brain and lets us think of ways to show our love to those special to us.

Di pa rin gets?

Picture this: a scene in James Cameron's Avatar movie (maybe it's that good that it probably made it on the updated "list of movies to watch before you die"), where the Na'vi prays to their god Eywa following the destruction of Home Tree... I don't believe it was Eywa's response that brought them the victory they sought, it was the collective thought concept at work.

Don't like movies? The 9/11 incident would be more real. Random Event Generators, software which broadcasts, well, random stuff (http://www.damninteresting.com/random-event-generators-predict-the-future) suddenly became less random and actually showed a trend.

Teka teka, bago ninyo ako tanggalin sa reading choices niyo, here's something to think about. Let's say the force or gravity of our prayers or collective thought is equivalent to our soul (this is to say that all of the people in the whole world can more or less control their thoughts, or know how to pray, and all have the equal ability of doing so). There'd be more than 6.8 billion people in the world right now, increasing exponentially as your eyes move through this sentence. Multiply that number by the soul's weight and what have we got? A staggering 142.8 kilotonne worth of product (of course the product could have been larger if we used the exact population at a given time), and a tonne is a thousand kilograms. That's one-four-two-eight then add eight zeroes. Yes, we're done with the math now.

The real question now is, what could we all possibly should be praying for that's worth that much, or weighed that heavily? Fun fact: The "Fat Man" and the "Little Boy" atomic bombs only weighed 4.6 and 4 tonnes respectively. The energy outputs of these bombs are 21 and 15 kilotons of TNT (explosive material) or 88 and 63 terrajoules. I know most people are familiar with computer file sizes and calories nowadays so I wouldn't give the elementary analogy with the figures anymore, hmmkay?

I'm imagining we already have the power to stop the end of the world as we know it, not just how we think.


Still interested?
http://www.theintentionexperiment.com/
http://noosphere.princeton.edu/

Thursday, February 11, 2010

WANNA BE A SPY? ME TOO!

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okay, i really have to get this off my chest. it's been bothering me since high school...

bakit dito sa pilipinas, parang hindi tayo umaabot sa level ng education tulad ng mga nasa first-world countries? i didn't say level of intelligence because we are all humans (assumed fact, matatalo ako for sure), therefore we can also reach what they can (boast not, you ivy league graduates, for one day you shall see kahit sinong pinoy matatalo kayo sa kahit isang bagay, maging sapakan man yan which by the way, talo na kayo dahil sa amin si pacquiao, o pabilisan kumain ng balot..). that's just the foundation of the real concern.. well, here goes: naiinggit kasi ako sa U.S. dahil sa dami ng agencies nila for national security. dito, NICA lang yata meron tayo which stands for national intelligence coordinating agency (kinailangan talaga i-coordinate, parang iniimply na sabog)... anyway, this might have stemmed from watching too many spy movies, reading too many spy novels (okay, maybe not) and watching chuck episodes but the point is, bakit tayo wala? i believe we need these agencies as much as they do, or even more so because we are in Asia and are surrounded by countries which, well, house terrorists (i'm not saying that we don't house terrorists ourselves). clearly, the non-existence of these agencies is a reflection and a statement of how much we love our country. i don't think we need another crisis to realize that. i also realized that i would want to work for those kinds of agencies not just because i'm currently unemployed, (and some of my friends who i'd love to work with too) but it would have been great to say to the future generations how OUR generation served our country. for once, i want to hear someone say, "i work for the government" (or "i'm a spy") and be proud of it. who here doesn't? tignan natin ang mga baby boomers sa pilipinas. i'm proud to say that they worked their ass off so that their descendants, us, could live better. they served their families, that's great, but is that all there is to their lives? parang ni-lugi yata sila ng destiny, lalo na sa pwede sanang mangyare sa inang bayan. nothing, it's just that ever since we were kids, my brothers always joked about my dad being a top secret agent, taking down bad guys in and out of the country and using his middle manager position as a cover. as for my mom, we imagined she's a ninja, because of her insane reflexes, her unusual skills (judo, archery, things-you-don't-wanna-know) and using the nursing degree and friendly housewife facade as cover. we were kids, and boy, i just wished we were right all along. shempre gusto kong masabi na: "wala ka sa tatay ko, mamamatay-tao, este, SPY!" yes it was cool to reminisce, but maybe our stupid idea just might work. maybe it's up to us to show them what we all were missing. siguro nga laging kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan. magli-lead pa sana eto sa usapang eleksyon, pero baka kunin na akong kasapi ng isa sa mga kandidato kaya ititigil ko na. i just wish that this generation is smart enough to start the change.

babawi ako sa fun thoughts next post. CHEERS!

ouch!

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bakit tuwing nasasaktan tayo.. ang unang reaction natin ay nangagaling sa bibig.. "ouch" ika nga nila.. o kun di man, "aray".. kun S-Osy-AL "arouch"... eoth tanong jan eh.. SINO SA MUNDO ANG NAGTURO SATIN SABIHIN YOON?? wala naman matinong nanay o tatay o kapatid o besfriend o girlfriend o drayber o aso na magsasabi sayo na sabihin ang "ouch" kapag nasasaktan!




isang araw... nung nasakatan ako.. sabi ko sa sarili ko... ongah noh.. DI KO NAISIP UN AH..!!




yours truly....




JTM..=b

Royal Tru Orange = VITAMIN C???

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a few weeks ago, nagkasakit ako! sobrang hassle! for my whole life in college, 2 times lang ako nagabsent, and that waas because of petty reasons (hindi ako ginising and hindi ako nagising!) but ngayon na nagOOJT ako sa shell nakaka4 na absent na ko dahil sa sakit! ganon kalala! sobrang hassleeeee! nahihiya na ko actually sa Shell kasi sakitin na ko apparently and actually sinabi pa sakin nung thesis adviser namin dito na umuwi na ko and just to go back to work the following week kasi namumutla na daw ako at ganon na kalala ung sakit ko... in a nutshell, nagkasit ako! haha matinding cough and coldsss... problema ko pa naman pag nakakasakit ako is that ung right eye ko, whenever i have cough and colds, sobrang nagluluha... kaya naman dram dram ang luha ko sa mga araw na nagkasakit ako... i just don't know anymore which tears are from my sickness and which tears are actually "REAL".. hmmm.. haha.


anyway, since i was sick, i really said to myself that i need to get my life together and start drinking mediciness... of course unang nasa isip ko ay VITAMIN C! pero tinatamad ako uminom ng cecon or kahit ano pang vitamin c na tablet kaya naman tumingin nalang ako sa ref kung may orange juice kami or real oragnes... pero ang nakita ko ay isang malaking bote ng ROYAL TRU-ORANGE! at nakasulat pa sa harap ay isang malaking CONTAINS VITAMIN C! so sabi ko... PERFECT!! GAGALING NA KO!! pero after drinking for so many days straight... i substituted it na for water... narealize ko.. i'm not getting any better! kahit nung bata pa ko hanggang ngayon i was made to believe na instead of drinking sprite or coke, mag royal tru orange nalang ako para hindi lang nawala uhaw ko, meron pa kong nainom na vitamins!!! un nga lang, hindi namna ata gumagana ung vitamin c ng royal tru orange... and according to my research, ang Royal Tru Orange actually includes Vitamin C, pero meron din itong tinatawag na Sodium Benzoate which actually creates a chemical reaction that (as of this moment, may dumaan na pogi sa tabi ko na nagngangalang RYAN URIARTE!) inactivates the VITAMIN C content of the drink... so KAYA NAMAN PALA AKO HINDI GUMALING!! hassle!!! ayun lang... so kung nagkasakit kayo, wag na wag nyo kong gagayahin at uminom nalang talaga kayo ng vitamin c or kumain ng real oranges... kasi asa pa kayo na gumaling! learn from my mistakes! hhaha ROYAL TRU ORANGE = NO VITAMIN C!!! drink moderately... tataba lang kayo kung gawin nyo un.. haha


-BTM. mabuhay ang ONHKNU(OK BA? shortcut? haha) at ang TIBUHAY! haha

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Derek Ramsay, Oh Buko!!!!

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Si Derek Arthur Ramsay,o Derek Ramsay lang, ay isang British Filipino na artista, model at host dito sa Pilipinas. Ipinanganak siya ni Elizabeth Ramsay (aka. Nanay ni Jaya) sa England nuong Dec. 7 1979, tatay naman niya si Sam Milby. Ginamit niya ang Ramsay na apelido pagkatapos iwan ni Sam Milby ang kanyang ina for greener pastures (sumali ng Pinoy Big Bro).

Pagkalipas ng maraming taon, sinundan ni Derek ang kanyang ama dito sa Pilipinas. Sa halip na mag-away at magsuntukan sa loob ng ABS-CBN compound dahil sa sustento na gustong makuha ni Derek sa mga taon na nawala ang kanyang ama, naisip niya na gantihan nalang ang kanyang tatay sa pamamagitan ng paglalabanan ng pelikulang nakakakilig. Gusto niyang bumagsak ang career ng kanyang tatay at pagharian ang local matinee idol scene dito sa Pinas. Hindi naman umatras si Sam Milby, gusto niya ring ipamukha sa kanyang biological son na hindi siya bading, at mas mahusay pa rin ang puno sa kanyang bunga. Sabi pa ni Sam Milby na hindi totoo ang 'Like father like son' na kasabihan.

Hanggang ngayon ay umuusad pa rin ang labanan ng mga matinee idol. Kanya kanya ng paghakot ng fans, fans' club, at kanya kanyang pagpili ng kanilang leading lady. Mahirap na ang labanan ngayon. Maraming kakumpetnsya, kahit na gwapo at macho ang mag-ama, hindi lang ang isa't isa ang dapat nilang intindihin; andyan si Piolo, si Luis, kahit ang ama niyang si Edu, si Manny Villar at Manny Paquiao, Andrew E., Kuya Kim, John Lloyd, Enchong Dee, Gerald Anderson at higit sa lahat si Winslow.

Kailangan nilang maghanda.
 
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